Servicio técnico… ¿En que puedo ayudarle?
Domingo ~ 9 Agosto, 2009

Últimamente realizan llamadas a casa para hacerte ofertas de telefono, internet o venderte a su puta madre !!! un reloj, la cuestión es que es cansino. Pero no casi tanto como lo que tienen que aguantar los pobres del servicio técnico, aunque a veces esos técnicos nos traten como idiota es normal dada la cantidad de llamadas parecidas a estas que reciben :

Helpdesk: ¿Qué ordenador tiene?
Cliente: Uno blanco.
_____
(la del santo Job)

Cliente: Hola. No puedo sacar el disquete de la disquetera.
Helpdesk: ¿Ha intentado apretar el botón?
Cliente: Sí, claro, esta como pegado.
Helpdesk: Eso no suena bien, tomaré nota…
Cliente: No… espera… no había metido el disquete… esta todavía en la mesa… lo siento.
_____
(sin comentarios)

Helpdesk
: Haga clic sobre el icono de ‘Mi PC’, a la izquierda de la pantalla.
Cliente: ¿Tu izquierda o mi izquierda?
_____
(hay cada uno que…)

Helpdesk: Buenos días, ¿en qué puedo ayudarle?
Cliente: Hola, no puedo imprimir.
Helpdesk: Podría hacer click sobre “inicio” y …
Cliente: Escuche; no empiece con tecnicismos, no soy Bill Gates ¡Maldita sea!
_____
(y cada una…..)

Cliente: Hola, buenas tardes, soy Marta y no puedo imprimir, cada vez que lo intento dice “No se encuentra impresora”. He cogido incluso la impresora, la he colocado en frente del monitor pero el ordenador todavía dice que no la puede encontrar.

_____
(el mejor)

Cliente: Tengo problemas para imprimir en rojo.
Helpdesk: Tiene una impresora a color?
Cliente: Aaaaaaaah…. gracias!!
_____
(el segundo mejor)

Helpdesk: Qué hay en su monitor ahora mismo?
Cliente: Un osito de peluche que mi novio me compró en un supermercado.
_____

(Dios es grande)

Helpdesk: Ahora, pulse F8.
Cliente: … mmmm No funciona.
Helpdesk: Que hizo exactamente?
Cliente: Presionar la F 8 veces como me dijiste, pero no ocurre nada.
__
(hay que ser tooontoooo)

Cliente: Mi teclado no quiere funcionar.
Helpdesk: ¿Está seguro de que esta conectado?
Cliente: No lo sé. No alcanzo la parte de atrás.
Helpdesk: coja el teclado, y dé diez pasos hacia atrás.
Cliente: ok
Helpdesk: El teclado sigue con usted?
Cliente: Sí
Helpdesk: Eso significa que el teclado no está conectado ¿Hay algún otro teclado cerca?
Cliente: Sí, hay otro aquí. Andaaa,…. este si funciona!!
_____
(el primo del anterior)

Helpdesk: Tu password es ‘a’ minúscula de andamio, V mayúscula de Victor, el número 7…
Cliente: 7 en mayúscula o minúscula?
_____
(el tercer mejor)

Un cliente no puede conectarse a Internet
Helpdesk: Está seguro de que esta utilizando el password correcto?
Cliente: Si, estoy seguro, vi a un colega hacerlo.
Helpdesk: Me puede decir cual es el password?
Cliente: 5 asteriscos.
_____
(pa nota)

Cliente: Tengo un grave problema. Un amigo me puso un protector de pantalla, pero cada vez que muevo el ratón, desaparece.

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Lo del 7 en mayúsculas o minúscula también me ha pasado a mí muuuuchas veces cuando trabajaba como teleoperadora xDDD

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